Wednesday, January 21, 2009
HOW important is punctuation? Should we insist students master it? Or can we ignore it, since it is but a printing convention? After all, we don't use punctuation in speech.
Anyone inclined to adopt such a laissez faire attitude might consider the examples below. Punctuation is a matter not just for fussy sticklers. A great deal rides on the properly placed comma, full stop or apostrophe.
'The panda eats shoots and leaves.' 'The panda eats, shoots and leaves.'
'Charles the First walked and talked. Half an hour after, his head was cut off.' 'Charles the First walked and talked half an hour after his head was cut off.'
'A woman, without her man, is nothing.' 'A woman: without her, man is nothing.'
'Giant Kid Playground.' 'Giant Kid's Playground.'
'Dear Jack: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours? - Jill'.
'Dear Jack: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Jill'.
All of the above examples come from a book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach To Punctuation, by journalist Lynne Truss. A best seller in Britain since its publication last year, it is a fun introduction to a subject that is hardly taught in schools - or if taught, cursorily, with nothing like the attention paid to tenses, for instance.
And yet, that little dot known as the full stop (or period in America); that tadpoley-looking thing known as the comma; that apostrophe to distinguish (among other things) its from it's; that hyphen, exclamation, question mark, dash, parenthesis, ellipsis; that semi-colon that George Orwell detested, but which I adore (did I have to use so many in this sentence, though?) - all these marks are the indispensable 'traffic signals of language: they tell us to slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop' (which this sentence should have miles before now!), (incidentally, should that previous , have been a ; or - or :?) and if we ignore these signals (I mean punctuation), we will cause a linguistic smash-up just as surely as running a red light would a road accident...this sentence being a prime example of the former: proving conclusively that punctuation is 'a courtesy designed to help readers to understand a story without stumbling'.:)
'It is no accident,' as Ms Truss points out, 'that the word 'punctilious' ('attentive to formality or etiquette') comes from the same original root word as punctuation.' But punctuation, as she also goes on to explain humorously, is more than a matter of courtesy. Misplaced commas have caused schisms; questionable ones have occasioned lawsuits.
Consider this passage from Luke, xxiii, 43, reporting Christ's words to one of the criminals who was crucified with Him: 'Verily I say unto thee, Today thou shalt be with me in Paradise.'
That is how the Protestant Bible renders the passage, placing the comma after 'thee'. The implication is the thief will be translated straight into Paradise with Jesus, skipping 'the whole unpleasant business of Purgatory', as Ms Truss puts it.
Now consider how the Catholic Bible renders the same passage: 'Verily I say unto thee today, Thou shalt be with me in Paradise.' The implication here is the thief will be translated into Paradise, but not immediately, leaving 'Purgatory nicely in the picture for Catholics, who believe in it.' One wonders: If Luke had got not only Christ's words right, but also the precise punctuation He intended, would Christendom have been riven into so many pieces?
As for legal confusions, take this passage in a will: 'I, Graham Greene, grant permission to Norman Sherry, my authorised biographer, excluding any other to quote from my own copyrighted material published or unpublished.' Greene, having an itchy blue pencil, added a comma after 'excluding any other', and promptly died the next day.
Does the will say that Mr Sherry is the only person who can use the material? Or did Greene insert the comma to indicate that Mr Sherry was the only biographer who could do so, but other researchers, not engaged in biography, could too? The dispute is still raging, 12 years after the novelist's death in 1991.
Punctuation doesn't usually have such weighty consequences, of course. For most of us, it is sufficient to master its basic rules. For example: When two sentences are joined together using conjunctions such as 'and' or 'but', use a comma - 'He woke up early, but wished he hadn't'. But when the linking words are 'however' or 'consequently', use a semi-colon - 'He woke up early; consequently, he felt tired'.
The rules are not complex. Most are logical and necessary; a few are controversial. Orwell, as I mentioned, detested the semi-colon, since it was replaceable with a full stop (as in the previous sentence). But others were partial to it, believing it lent 'a pleasant feeling of expectancy; there is more to come; read on; it will get clearer' - as indeed it does in this delightful book by Ms Truss, which I recommend highly to all sticklers and would-be sticklers.
------------------------------------------------------
article from the Straits Times.
-Kenneth
Anyone inclined to adopt such a laissez faire attitude might consider the examples below. Punctuation is a matter not just for fussy sticklers. A great deal rides on the properly placed comma, full stop or apostrophe.
'The panda eats shoots and leaves.' 'The panda eats, shoots and leaves.'
'Charles the First walked and talked. Half an hour after, his head was cut off.' 'Charles the First walked and talked half an hour after his head was cut off.'
'A woman, without her man, is nothing.' 'A woman: without her, man is nothing.'
'Giant Kid Playground.' 'Giant Kid's Playground.'
'Dear Jack: I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours? - Jill'.
'Dear Jack: I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men I yearn! For you I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart I can be forever happy. Will you let me be? Yours, Jill'.
All of the above examples come from a book, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach To Punctuation, by journalist Lynne Truss. A best seller in Britain since its publication last year, it is a fun introduction to a subject that is hardly taught in schools - or if taught, cursorily, with nothing like the attention paid to tenses, for instance.
And yet, that little dot known as the full stop (or period in America); that tadpoley-looking thing known as the comma; that apostrophe to distinguish (among other things) its from it's; that hyphen, exclamation, question mark, dash, parenthesis, ellipsis; that semi-colon that George Orwell detested, but which I adore (did I have to use so many in this sentence, though?) - all these marks are the indispensable 'traffic signals of language: they tell us to slow down, notice this, take a detour, and stop' (which this sentence should have miles before now!), (incidentally, should that previous , have been a ; or - or :?) and if we ignore these signals (I mean punctuation), we will cause a linguistic smash-up just as surely as running a red light would a road accident...this sentence being a prime example of the former: proving conclusively that punctuation is 'a courtesy designed to help readers to understand a story without stumbling'.:)
'It is no accident,' as Ms Truss points out, 'that the word 'punctilious' ('attentive to formality or etiquette') comes from the same original root word as punctuation.' But punctuation, as she also goes on to explain humorously, is more than a matter of courtesy. Misplaced commas have caused schisms; questionable ones have occasioned lawsuits.
Consider this passage from Luke, xxiii, 43, reporting Christ's words to one of the criminals who was crucified with Him: 'Verily I say unto thee, Today thou shalt be with me in Paradise.'
That is how the Protestant Bible renders the passage, placing the comma after 'thee'. The implication is the thief will be translated straight into Paradise with Jesus, skipping 'the whole unpleasant business of Purgatory', as Ms Truss puts it.
Now consider how the Catholic Bible renders the same passage: 'Verily I say unto thee today, Thou shalt be with me in Paradise.' The implication here is the thief will be translated into Paradise, but not immediately, leaving 'Purgatory nicely in the picture for Catholics, who believe in it.' One wonders: If Luke had got not only Christ's words right, but also the precise punctuation He intended, would Christendom have been riven into so many pieces?
As for legal confusions, take this passage in a will: 'I, Graham Greene, grant permission to Norman Sherry, my authorised biographer, excluding any other to quote from my own copyrighted material published or unpublished.' Greene, having an itchy blue pencil, added a comma after 'excluding any other', and promptly died the next day.
Does the will say that Mr Sherry is the only person who can use the material? Or did Greene insert the comma to indicate that Mr Sherry was the only biographer who could do so, but other researchers, not engaged in biography, could too? The dispute is still raging, 12 years after the novelist's death in 1991.
Punctuation doesn't usually have such weighty consequences, of course. For most of us, it is sufficient to master its basic rules. For example: When two sentences are joined together using conjunctions such as 'and' or 'but', use a comma - 'He woke up early, but wished he hadn't'. But when the linking words are 'however' or 'consequently', use a semi-colon - 'He woke up early; consequently, he felt tired'.
The rules are not complex. Most are logical and necessary; a few are controversial. Orwell, as I mentioned, detested the semi-colon, since it was replaceable with a full stop (as in the previous sentence). But others were partial to it, believing it lent 'a pleasant feeling of expectancy; there is more to come; read on; it will get clearer' - as indeed it does in this delightful book by Ms Truss, which I recommend highly to all sticklers and would-be sticklers.
------------------------------------------------------
article from the Straits Times.
-Kenneth
8:25 PM
~we ARE in tune ;D~ (Some1 change script here >.<)
Thursday, January 1, 2009
haha read kenneth's hilarious post down there! and anyway, i sort of feel guilty cos i haven't been posting that much on this blog. gah.
so this is the new year. you think you know what this means huh. syf (gwh), studies, hciso. and no, gwh doesn't stand for gold WITHOUT honours. it stands for gold WITH honours. -.-
yeah hope you guys work a little harder this year, seeing that mr chan will be conducting the auditions soon enough (supposedly). and meanwhile, have a great 11 hours before school starts!
dun want be too luo suo. (:
till the next time
Jon Voon
so this is the new year. you think you know what this means huh. syf (gwh), studies, hciso. and no, gwh doesn't stand for gold WITHOUT honours. it stands for gold WITH honours. -.-
yeah hope you guys work a little harder this year, seeing that mr chan will be conducting the auditions soon enough (supposedly). and meanwhile, have a great 11 hours before school starts!
dun want be too luo suo. (:
till the next time
Jon Voon
8:21 PM
~we ARE in tune ;D~ (Some1 change script here >.<)
ALL YOU IRRITATING PEOPLE. LOL.
ask us post post post.
SO I SHALL POST SOMETHING FUN FOR ALL OF YOU TO DO.
Instructions:
1. Do the "Letter Meme".
2. Tag no less than 5 other people.
3. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.
Template:
Dear (the last person who text messaged you). I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) (11).(12),Your name
Your letter:
E.G.
Dear EnYing,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me under the bus and I saw you castrate the crazy monk. I'm sure you're Mongolic enough to understand that your pimples are at the last stage. I'm returning your false teeth to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of eggplant-fetishism.
In pain,
Titus Ong
1.What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchiladas
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Sit on
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Pull the clothes off
Other - Drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
Pink - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
White - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy statue
Other - The crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful i've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - Your mom
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - The results of your blood sample
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Best regards
Egypt - Fk off now
France - In pain
knock yourselves out,
kenneth.
ask us post post post.
SO I SHALL POST SOMETHING FUN FOR ALL OF YOU TO DO.
Instructions:
1. Do the "Letter Meme".
2. Tag no less than 5 other people.
3. Then copy the "How-to" Letter Meme, and finish your Journal entry.
Template:
Dear (the last person who text messaged you). I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it (2) (3) and I saw you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) (11).(12),Your name
Your letter:
E.G.
Dear EnYing,
I don't really know how to tell you this, but you're a pervert. I think I realized it when your dwarf bit me under the bus and I saw you castrate the crazy monk. I'm sure you're Mongolic enough to understand that your pimples are at the last stage. I'm returning your false teeth to you, but I'll keep your collection of butterflies as a memory. You should also know that I get sick when I think of eggplant-fetishism.
In pain,
Titus Ong
1.What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister
2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes
3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchiladas
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife
4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Sit on
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Pull the clothes off
Other - Drive out
5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
Pink - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
White - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy statue
Other - The crazy monk
6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed
7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful i've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks
8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service
9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - Your mom
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - The results of your blood sample
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college
10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked
11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics
12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Best regards
Egypt - Fk off now
France - In pain
knock yourselves out,
kenneth.
7:43 PM
~we ARE in tune ;D~ (Some1 change script here >.<)
Thursday, December 11, 2008
IM POSTING!. cos i want this blog to revive.
*revive*! guys, i need you to tag!. NONSENSE ALSO CAN:DD the more nonsense the better.
AND. i BETCHA YOU GUYS ARE EXCITED. about the concert.
so practise! to achieve this i've decided to post some camp pics. and through this process make this blog come alive as well(:
Violin 1 SL Kimberlyn with jonyong(: look at the way she laughs o.O
DILAND! you had a girlfriend. why didnt you tell me?xD(forfeit lai de lahr)
nelson.and stella.
I FOUND OUT THAT I LIKE THIS PICTURE TOO MUCH! KENNETH FTW<3
kenneth again. scandalous huh ><
ZHENYI!. HANDSOME LIL' DUDE
NELSON!. u look so happy:D
amazing how i got so many pics of nelson. he's a star!
*revive*! guys, i need you to tag!. NONSENSE ALSO CAN:DD the more nonsense the better.
AND. i BETCHA YOU GUYS ARE EXCITED. about the concert.
so practise! to achieve this i've decided to post some camp pics. and through this process make this blog come alive as well(:
Violin 1 SL Kimberlyn with jonyong(: look at the way she laughs o.O
DILAND! you had a girlfriend. why didnt you tell me?xD(forfeit lai de lahr)
nelson.and stella.
I FOUND OUT THAT I LIKE THIS PICTURE TOO MUCH! KENNETH FTW<3
kenneth again. scandalous huh ><
ZHENYI!. HANDSOME LIL' DUDE
NELSON!. u look so happy:D
amazing how i got so many pics of nelson. he's a star!
8:14 PM
~we ARE in tune ;D~ (Some1 change script here >.<)
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Disclaimer-All content are koped from kenneth's blog.
was exhausting,painful,high,crazy,funny..
the list goes on.
but it was fun :D
and better than the previous combined camp we had with MGS.
the weird thing is i cant think of a good solid reason why its better.
Day 1
we were supposed to assemble at 8.30 but i reached around 8 and i'm not surprised there were many other people early too. basically we just stoned there until the nanyang people camp at 9.30
then, we were dispatched into our groups and went to play icebreakers which were really quite lame ._. personally, i would have preferred section bonding instead of randomly dispatching us into groups ._.
anyways, after that we DID play games as a section.
or game, rather.
it was called "honey, do you love me" and basically what you're supposed to do is approach someone of the opposite sex and ask him/her "honey, do you love me" and try to make the person laugh while you do so. if you manage to make the person laugh, the person is sort of "tagged" and then will try to do the same to others.
it took really damn long coz nelson was dilly-dallying around and by the time he decided to approach a girl they were all really bored and stoning ._.
after that, we all went back to the orch room and a new game was started. basicallyall many of us were given slips of paper (there werent enough for everyone) with 4/5 descriptions of a person from the other school and we had to ask around to find out who our partner was. after that we had to do a task together.
quite quickly i found my partner then CaoYun made us take a photo doing a heart shape with our bodies o.o took us awhile but we managed to get it (:
after that we stoned and lamed around a little longer before going for lunch.
surprisingly, the food was good. much better than previous camps at least. but the next few days just proved that the canteen auntie only gave us good food when the NYSE girls eat with us ._.
anyways, after lunch we went for rehearsal and chan conducted our childhood first and my partner was Jing Ting (a super stone girl during the "honey, i love you" game :O) anyways, she wasnt too bad. quite easy to talk to, just a bit.. slow/blur :O anyways, later on i was glad to find out she was my desk partner as SL of violin IIs for brandenburg (coz she's good and i told her about the sightreading thing :D).
anyways it was damn horrible la. the brandenburg, i mean.
sightreading at that speed, not easy. having it conducted by someone new to yourself just makes it worse.
luckily for me, it wasnt too bad. i didnt get suaned much :D only once for not doing enough staccato and another for playing the wrong note in an important passage :O
after rehearsal was NIGHT GAMES!
firstly, we played FOODCHAIN.
in this game, alwyn and caoyun (chairman/president of hciso/nyse) were lions, violists were foxes, cellists and bassists were birds and violins were insects. basically, the lions go around catching birds and foxes, foxes avoid lions and catch birds, birds avoid lions and foxes and catch insects, and insects just try to stay alive. which really sucked for us insects coz the game was really boring ._. anyways, the foxes won :/
the next game we played was the SETTLEMENT game. it was dammmmmmmn chim man.
we were split into 5 teams, 1 being a team of exco members and the rest consisted of orch members. basically, the teams had to go around doing different stations to get different element cards (gold,wood,water,fire,earth) to build settlements (cities,roads,fortresses etc) and each settlement gives you points and the team with most points win.
to get gold cards, you have to find items that the game masters ask for (e.g. 10 $1 coins or 5 hwachong badges etc.) and the first team to find the items will get the cards. to get wood cards, the game masters for that station will give you a particular leaf and you will have to roam about nanyang finding an identical match to the leaf and you will be rewarded with 3 wood cards. for the water station, you/your team has to finish 2 bottles of water for 1 water card. fire was the worst. you have to do a certain amount of physical exercise decided by the game masters (e.g. 100 pushups for guys and 100 squats for girls) and they can add as many/reduce the amount of activity. finally, for earth cards, you have to be the first to spot a certain ulu place on a world map and you win a card.
well, my team got quite a few water/gold cards and we had a couple of fire cards but sadly we didnt have any earth/wood cards so we could only build 2 cities and we got 10 points. team exco got 40+ or 50+ (sth like that) then team 1 got 100+ points (LOL IMBA) team 2 had 0 and team 3 had 15.
however, there was an unexpected twist and they deducted points for each element card remaining so my team had -2 points and we lost ._.
WALAO. damn cheap ):
anyways, going to sleep now! shall blog about day 2 tomorrow (:
nights all!
day 2 started at 7.
we woke up, washed up and went for breakfast.
not surprisingly, it was the usual oily black noodles.
shrug.
anyways, after breakfast, we assembled in orch room and were briefed on "the big game" which was actually the not-so-amazing race :D
my team got hell lots of penalties man.
when we got to our first station (Clue: Cream of the Crop, Location: behind tower block ._.), another team was there (it wasnt our fault, there were 7 stations for 8 teams so my team had to share a station with team 1) and thus we had to draw a card which could be queue (just wait for them to finish before starting on the station), detour (skip the station), or penalty (call either alwyn or caoyun to give us a task ._.).
anyway, we got a penalty (not surprisingly, most of the cards were penalties) and our task was to find out jonathan voon's bed/room number in beijing and after bugging zhenyi for a while he helped us ask voon (:
then we did the game. it was damn hard man. its so complicated i dont even know how to explain it, but we did it in 12 minutes (time limit was 15 :D) and then we went to our next station
(Clue: Mama Mia, Location: Home Econs Room, Nanyang). initially we thought the place was HC drama centre (Mama Mia being a musical) but it wasnt and while we were making our way to nanyang audi, we got tagged by caoyun (meaning we had to do a forfeit) and it was to count the number of moles on zicong's face =.= (well, we was near us so we went to count and after that caoyun gave us hints on where to go and soon we found our next station :D) when we got there, team alumni was there (zhichao,larry,gary,wilfred,chaychong) and they played around ._.
then, wutianhao told us to throw tennis balls at pieces of cardboard on a wall. each piece of cardboard had a number on it and each number represented a different task.
for the first 2 throws, we missed, then wilfred came and helped us throw and MISSED, then wutianhao was ready to choose a forfeit for us to do when wilfred said "eh not counted!" then larry chaychong and wilfred each took a ball and threw it at the wall and all MISSED then they told wutianhao "eh! we hit 1 6 and 7!" LOL. so tianhao told us tasks 1 6 and 7 (1 was to use nutella chocolate to paint flowers on our faces, 6 was to hop 1 entire round around the 4th floor, 7 was to go fill our 1 litre bottle 1/2 with water and carry it around for the remainder of the race) so we chose task number 1 and finished it reasonably quickly. after that, we walked to the nearby water cooler/toilet to wash the chocolate off our face when caoyun came and tagged us again, making us do another forfeit ._. this time, we had to take a photo of congning holding up his socks ._. so we went to find cong ning at our 3rd station
(Clue: 2.4km run, Location: Hwa Chong Track).
after some persuasion, congning did the pose for us and we called caoyun but she was still at nanyang so we decided to complete the station before finding her. for this station, we had to crawl under a patch of grass marked out by a net finding marbles hidden in the grass. to complete to task, we had to find 6/10 marbles. however, when we were halfway done, (literally halfway, we found 3 marbles) caoyun called and said that she was at the overhead bridge and wanted us to go find her immediately, if not she would go back to NY and we'd have to walk even further, so we all stopped the task and went to find her. after walking/running to and back from the bridge, kimberlynn decided to be nice and let us pass the station even though we only did half of it :D
station 4 (Clue: some-japanese-name is slamming onto the ground Location: Dojo, Hwa Chong) when we got there, we didnt see any other team which was good news coz it meant group 1 was slower than us and we wouldnt be the slowest team. the task required us to divide our team into 2 groups and 1 side had to clap and say out the rhythm for 7/8 time while the other side had to do the same for 12/8 time simultaneously. it was damn confusing man, but after a few attempts, alwyn called zhaohong to say that everyone was to reutrn to the orch room so steven and zhaohong just passed us for that station :D
when we got back to the orch room, team 3 was the winner (they were the only gorup who completed 5 stations) so every other gorup had to do a forfeit! they had to send a member/members to drink some lemon juice mixed with carrots and cut chilli thing which looked really bad ._.
so the gorups went up 1 by 1 to drink like, small portions poured into cups but when it was my turn, (my gorup was the last group), caoyun asked me "how much do you want?" then alwyn said "aiya just finish everything la" LOL then i stared at the 1/5 bottle full of veggies and stuff and drank it all up ._. it was like if everyone else drank a sip, i drank a cup ._. nelson was the only other guy who drank more than required (he drank half a cup coz he told alwyn "nevermind, i can take it" then alwyn spamed). surprisingly it reminded me of pizza :O
after that we had lunch followed by rehearsal.
the good news is i didnt get suaned by mr sze this time :D
jing ting showed me some creepy-cool thing she could do with her hand ._.
after that, we had dinner, followed by our own rehearsal until 8+
at 9, we reaced NY ready for our next, BIG, TIRING, painful game ._.
it was called terrorists!
basically, the exco members were POLICEMEN, 8 random people were chosen to be terrorists and the rest of us were THIEVES.
basically, the police had to guard police stations (there were 7) and their job was to catch thieves. terrorists had to go around finding cards and when they had a certain number of cards, they could build "bombs" to bomb police stations. thieves had to escape from policemen and help terrorists to find cards. when caught by policemen, thieves were sent to "jail" and could be bailed out by terrorists using 1 gold card. in the end, the game was pretty borig coz most of the thieves just camped on the 4th floor (the safe zone) coz the policemen were guarding all the staircases but jared jeremy kaishin and i managed to get down a couple of times but we didnt find any cards ._.
anyway, it turned out 6/7 police stations were bombed and none of the thieves were caught coz the terrorists had enough gold to bail everyone out ._.
it was tiring though. and scary.
shall continue tomorrow (:
OKAYY THATS FINALLY OVER. anws. im so lazy. paiseh la kenneth
CAMP MONTAGE PPL
by your 4th stand outer player - zhihao(sucker right)
although the content is all from kenneth
Violin 1 jiayou! 1 more week. PRACTISE kayy
was exhausting,painful,high,crazy,funny..
the list goes on.
but it was fun :D
and better than the previous combined camp we had with MGS.
the weird thing is i cant think of a good solid reason why its better.
Day 1
we were supposed to assemble at 8.30 but i reached around 8 and i'm not surprised there were many other people early too. basically we just stoned there until the nanyang people camp at 9.30
then, we were dispatched into our groups and went to play icebreakers which were really quite lame ._. personally, i would have preferred section bonding instead of randomly dispatching us into groups ._.
anyways, after that we DID play games as a section.
or game, rather.
it was called "honey, do you love me" and basically what you're supposed to do is approach someone of the opposite sex and ask him/her "honey, do you love me" and try to make the person laugh while you do so. if you manage to make the person laugh, the person is sort of "tagged" and then will try to do the same to others.
it took really damn long coz nelson was dilly-dallying around and by the time he decided to approach a girl they were all really bored and stoning ._.
after that, we all went back to the orch room and a new game was started. basically
quite quickly i found my partner then CaoYun made us take a photo doing a heart shape with our bodies o.o took us awhile but we managed to get it (:
after that we stoned and lamed around a little longer before going for lunch.
surprisingly, the food was good. much better than previous camps at least. but the next few days just proved that the canteen auntie only gave us good food when the NYSE girls eat with us ._.
anyways, after lunch we went for rehearsal and chan conducted our childhood first and my partner was Jing Ting (a super stone girl during the "honey, i love you" game :O) anyways, she wasnt too bad. quite easy to talk to, just a bit.. slow/blur :O anyways, later on i was glad to find out she was my desk partner as SL of violin IIs for brandenburg (coz she's good and i told her about the sightreading thing :D).
anyways it was damn horrible la. the brandenburg, i mean.
sightreading at that speed, not easy. having it conducted by someone new to yourself just makes it worse.
luckily for me, it wasnt too bad. i didnt get suaned much :D only once for not doing enough staccato and another for playing the wrong note in an important passage :O
after rehearsal was NIGHT GAMES!
firstly, we played FOODCHAIN.
in this game, alwyn and caoyun (chairman/president of hciso/nyse) were lions, violists were foxes, cellists and bassists were birds and violins were insects. basically, the lions go around catching birds and foxes, foxes avoid lions and catch birds, birds avoid lions and foxes and catch insects, and insects just try to stay alive. which really sucked for us insects coz the game was really boring ._. anyways, the foxes won :/
the next game we played was the SETTLEMENT game. it was dammmmmmmn chim man.
we were split into 5 teams, 1 being a team of exco members and the rest consisted of orch members. basically, the teams had to go around doing different stations to get different element cards (gold,wood,water,fire,earth) to build settlements (cities,roads,fortresses etc) and each settlement gives you points and the team with most points win.
to get gold cards, you have to find items that the game masters ask for (e.g. 10 $1 coins or 5 hwachong badges etc.) and the first team to find the items will get the cards. to get wood cards, the game masters for that station will give you a particular leaf and you will have to roam about nanyang finding an identical match to the leaf and you will be rewarded with 3 wood cards. for the water station, you/your team has to finish 2 bottles of water for 1 water card. fire was the worst. you have to do a certain amount of physical exercise decided by the game masters (e.g. 100 pushups for guys and 100 squats for girls) and they can add as many/reduce the amount of activity. finally, for earth cards, you have to be the first to spot a certain ulu place on a world map and you win a card.
well, my team got quite a few water/gold cards and we had a couple of fire cards but sadly we didnt have any earth/wood cards so we could only build 2 cities and we got 10 points. team exco got 40+ or 50+ (sth like that) then team 1 got 100+ points (LOL IMBA) team 2 had 0 and team 3 had 15.
however, there was an unexpected twist and they deducted points for each element card remaining so my team had -2 points and we lost ._.
WALAO. damn cheap ):
anyways, going to sleep now! shall blog about day 2 tomorrow (:
nights all!
metaldrax blogged at 10:07:00 PM
day 2 started at 7.
we woke up, washed up and went for breakfast.
not surprisingly, it was the usual oily black noodles.
shrug.
anyways, after breakfast, we assembled in orch room and were briefed on "the big game" which was actually the not-so-amazing race :D
my team got hell lots of penalties man.
when we got to our first station (Clue: Cream of the Crop, Location: behind tower block ._.), another team was there (it wasnt our fault, there were 7 stations for 8 teams so my team had to share a station with team 1) and thus we had to draw a card which could be queue (just wait for them to finish before starting on the station), detour (skip the station), or penalty (call either alwyn or caoyun to give us a task ._.).
anyway, we got a penalty (not surprisingly, most of the cards were penalties) and our task was to find out jonathan voon's bed/room number in beijing and after bugging zhenyi for a while he helped us ask voon (:
then we did the game. it was damn hard man. its so complicated i dont even know how to explain it, but we did it in 12 minutes (time limit was 15 :D) and then we went to our next station
(Clue: Mama Mia, Location: Home Econs Room, Nanyang). initially we thought the place was HC drama centre (Mama Mia being a musical) but it wasnt and while we were making our way to nanyang audi, we got tagged by caoyun (meaning we had to do a forfeit) and it was to count the number of moles on zicong's face =.= (well, we was near us so we went to count and after that caoyun gave us hints on where to go and soon we found our next station :D) when we got there, team alumni was there (zhichao,larry,gary,wilfred,chaychong) and they played around ._.
then, wutianhao told us to throw tennis balls at pieces of cardboard on a wall. each piece of cardboard had a number on it and each number represented a different task.
for the first 2 throws, we missed, then wilfred came and helped us throw and MISSED, then wutianhao was ready to choose a forfeit for us to do when wilfred said "eh not counted!" then larry chaychong and wilfred each took a ball and threw it at the wall and all MISSED then they told wutianhao "eh! we hit 1 6 and 7!" LOL. so tianhao told us tasks 1 6 and 7 (1 was to use nutella chocolate to paint flowers on our faces, 6 was to hop 1 entire round around the 4th floor, 7 was to go fill our 1 litre bottle 1/2 with water and carry it around for the remainder of the race) so we chose task number 1 and finished it reasonably quickly. after that, we walked to the nearby water cooler/toilet to wash the chocolate off our face when caoyun came and tagged us again, making us do another forfeit ._. this time, we had to take a photo of congning holding up his socks ._. so we went to find cong ning at our 3rd station
(Clue: 2.4km run, Location: Hwa Chong Track).
after some persuasion, congning did the pose for us and we called caoyun but she was still at nanyang so we decided to complete the station before finding her. for this station, we had to crawl under a patch of grass marked out by a net finding marbles hidden in the grass. to complete to task, we had to find 6/10 marbles. however, when we were halfway done, (literally halfway, we found 3 marbles) caoyun called and said that she was at the overhead bridge and wanted us to go find her immediately, if not she would go back to NY and we'd have to walk even further, so we all stopped the task and went to find her. after walking/running to and back from the bridge, kimberlynn decided to be nice and let us pass the station even though we only did half of it :D
station 4 (Clue: some-japanese-name is slamming onto the ground Location: Dojo, Hwa Chong) when we got there, we didnt see any other team which was good news coz it meant group 1 was slower than us and we wouldnt be the slowest team. the task required us to divide our team into 2 groups and 1 side had to clap and say out the rhythm for 7/8 time while the other side had to do the same for 12/8 time simultaneously. it was damn confusing man, but after a few attempts, alwyn called zhaohong to say that everyone was to reutrn to the orch room so steven and zhaohong just passed us for that station :D
when we got back to the orch room, team 3 was the winner (they were the only gorup who completed 5 stations) so every other gorup had to do a forfeit! they had to send a member/members to drink some lemon juice mixed with carrots and cut chilli thing which looked really bad ._.
so the gorups went up 1 by 1 to drink like, small portions poured into cups but when it was my turn, (my gorup was the last group), caoyun asked me "how much do you want?" then alwyn said "aiya just finish everything la" LOL then i stared at the 1/5 bottle full of veggies and stuff and drank it all up ._. it was like if everyone else drank a sip, i drank a cup ._. nelson was the only other guy who drank more than required (he drank half a cup coz he told alwyn "nevermind, i can take it" then alwyn spamed). surprisingly it reminded me of pizza :O
after that we had lunch followed by rehearsal.
the good news is i didnt get suaned by mr sze this time :D
jing ting showed me some creepy-cool thing she could do with her hand ._.
after that, we had dinner, followed by our own rehearsal until 8+
at 9, we reaced NY ready for our next, BIG, TIRING, painful game ._.
it was called terrorists!
basically, the exco members were POLICEMEN, 8 random people were chosen to be terrorists and the rest of us were THIEVES.
basically, the police had to guard police stations (there were 7) and their job was to catch thieves. terrorists had to go around finding cards and when they had a certain number of cards, they could build "bombs" to bomb police stations. thieves had to escape from policemen and help terrorists to find cards. when caught by policemen, thieves were sent to "jail" and could be bailed out by terrorists using 1 gold card. in the end, the game was pretty borig coz most of the thieves just camped on the 4th floor (the safe zone) coz the policemen were guarding all the staircases but jared jeremy kaishin and i managed to get down a couple of times but we didnt find any cards ._.
anyway, it turned out 6/7 police stations were bombed and none of the thieves were caught coz the terrorists had enough gold to bail everyone out ._.
it was tiring though. and scary.
shall continue tomorrow (:
OKAYY THATS FINALLY OVER. anws. im so lazy. paiseh la kenneth
CAMP MONTAGE PPL
by your 4th stand outer player - zhihao(sucker right)
although the content is all from kenneth
Violin 1 jiayou! 1 more week. PRACTISE kayy
12:34 AM
~we ARE in tune ;D~ (Some1 change script here >.<)
Monday, October 6, 2008
ehh. i suppose it's the end of exams for all you guys. so let's talk about stuff. if you guys actually read. -.- shall inform you guys about the blog again tmr during practice (:
1. our standard of playing
*ouch*, to say the least. as a section, we are not really together and our intonation is not that perfect either. should i organise sectionals before i embark on my bsc trip? lol. i also lazy =x eh but you guys must practice more yourselves. seeing that this is after your exams and you do not have that much studying commitments. (e.g. nelson can STOP playing audition and dota and focus more on his violin. although that is virtually impossible -.-) try practicing 0 min per day and you will attain *ehhem*nelson*ehhem* standard (oops xD). if you wanna attain the front stands' standard, practice 1 hour per day. if you wanna attain mr chan standard, DREAM ON (: ok but my point is, PRACTICE.
2. nyse camp
imagine this scenario: we are in a combined sectional with nyse violin 1s and you haven't learnt your notes. you play softly to make sure no one hears, but the alert SLs catch you slacking and you have to play alone. you whisper swear words and start playing out-of-tune.
this situation doesn't apply for most of you as most of you know your notes. however, for the MINORITY, if you don't wanna 献丑 in front of our guests, you know what to do. i hope =x
i just spent a whopping 20 min typing this post and i am sort of tired to think up of more stuff for now. i am beginning to sound like a broken recorder. urgh.
practicepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepractice(:
1. our standard of playing
*ouch*, to say the least. as a section, we are not really together and our intonation is not that perfect either. should i organise sectionals before i embark on my bsc trip? lol. i also lazy =x eh but you guys must practice more yourselves. seeing that this is after your exams and you do not have that much studying commitments. (e.g. nelson can STOP playing audition and dota and focus more on his violin. although that is virtually impossible -.-) try practicing 0 min per day and you will attain *ehhem*nelson*ehhem* standard (oops xD). if you wanna attain the front stands' standard, practice 1 hour per day. if you wanna attain mr chan standard, DREAM ON (: ok but my point is, PRACTICE.
2. nyse camp
imagine this scenario: we are in a combined sectional with nyse violin 1s and you haven't learnt your notes. you play softly to make sure no one hears, but the alert SLs catch you slacking and you have to play alone. you whisper swear words and start playing out-of-tune.
this situation doesn't apply for most of you as most of you know your notes. however, for the MINORITY, if you don't wanna 献丑 in front of our guests, you know what to do. i hope =x
i just spent a whopping 20 min typing this post and i am sort of tired to think up of more stuff for now. i am beginning to sound like a broken recorder. urgh.
practicepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepracticepractice(:
9:12 PM
~we ARE in tune ;D~ (Some1 change script here >.<)
Sunday, September 21, 2008
here's something to cheer you guys up (:
disclaimer: this post is damn totally gross. dun read it unless you wanna laugh or cry like shit or you are about to eat.
---------------------------------------
The Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit: The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit: You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Second Wave Shit: This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
The Brain Hemorrhage Through Your Nose Shit: Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit".You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit: The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
The Wet Cheeks Shit: Also known as the "Power Dump".That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Liquid Shit: That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
The Mood Enhancer: This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
The Aftershock Shit: This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.
The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit: This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
The Groaner: A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
The Floater: Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
The Ranger: A shit which refuses to let go.It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
The Phantom Shit: This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
The Snake Charmer: A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit: An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
Shitzopherenia: Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
The Power Dump Shit: The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Shit: This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor.
The Spinal Tap Shit: The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The Porridge Shit: The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit: When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit: Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump".Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour.Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit: Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
disclaimer: this post is damn totally gross. dun read it unless you wanna laugh or cry like shit or you are about to eat.
---------------------------------------
The Ghost Shit: The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit on the toilet paper, but there's no shit in the bowl.
The Clean Shit: The kind where you feel shit come out, see shit in the bowl, but there's no shit on the toilet paper.
The Wet Shit: You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.
The Second Wave Shit: This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to shit some more.
The Brain Hemorrhage Through Your Nose Shit: Also known as "Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit".You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.
The "Gee, I Really Wish I Could Shit" Shit: The kind where you want to shit, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.
The Wet Cheeks Shit: Also known as the "Power Dump".That's the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.
The Liquid Shit: That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and, at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.
The Mood Enhancer: This shit occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.
The Aftershock Shit: This shit has an odour so powerful than anyone entering the vicinity within the next seven hours is affected.
The "Honeymoon's Over" Shit: This is any shit created in the presence of another person.
The Groaner: A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal assistance.
The Floater: Characterized by its floatability, this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings.
The Ranger: A shit which refuses to let go.It is usually necessary to engage in a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper.
The Phantom Shit: This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there.
The Snake Charmer: A long skinny shit which has managed to coil itself into a frightening position - usually harmless.
The Pebbles-From-Heaven Shit: An adorable collection of small turds in a cluster, often a gift from God when you actually can't shit.
Shitzopherenia: Fear of shitting - can be fatal!
The Power Dump Shit: The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you're done.
The Liquid Plumber Shit: This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor.
The Spinal Tap Shit: The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear it's got to be coming out sideways.
The Porridge Shit: The type that comes out like toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have two choices: a) flush and keep going, or b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless.
The "I Think I'm Turning Into A Bunny" Shit: When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the water.
The "What The Hell Died In Here?" Shit: Also sometimes referred to as "The Toxic Dump".Of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour.Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air.
The "I Just Know There's A Turd Still Dangling There" Shit: Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now, it's going to smear all over the place.
5:42 PM
~we ARE in tune ;D~ (Some1 change script here >.<)
